Why do men & women cheat?

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Keyboardcaper 1 year, 7 months ago.

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  • #1830

    Angel
    Participant

    I would like to find out what other people out there think and why people do it?

    Also what will you classify as cheating?

    #1833

    wbean
    Participant

    Cheating is dishonest.  If you have a relationship with someone who is often dishonest, my guess is that cheating isn’t out of the question.  They always say “if you can steal, you can kill”.  I’m not sure about this one – I think the general consensus is that those who cheat are (1) in a position to cheat – they can, so they do! (2) dishonest in general because they cannot tell their partner that they want to move on, so choose to cheat and stay – oldest story in the book – have your cake and eat it too.

    Cheating is a conscious choice, so if people say that they’re honest in all things relationship-wise, they probably are.  Take this with a pinch of salt.

    Personally, I think people cheat because they want immediate gratification and do so without guilt.  There is no real consideration for their partners and who it will affect negatively.  It’s called being selfish.  No need to psycho-analyse it to death.

     

    #1836

    ferdiel
    Participant

    Difficult question, “what will you classify as cheating?”, but maybe this is a scary answer.

    The commandment “you shall not commit adultery” may be interpreted in many ways because we are spritual and physical beings, adultery does not only mean physical. If you are physically with someone, but spiritually and mentally with somebody else, it is adultery. So cheating is also when your husband is having intercourse with you and at the same time having fantasies about the neighbours wife.

    To me, its even more the spiritual and mental cheating that will eventually destroy your relationship.

    Why do people cheat? When you are not totally comitted and satsified with your partner, but does not want to go through the pain of divorce, and do not want to affect the children, it seems to be a simple solution. Eventually these desires end up in physical contact.

    The saying goes, if the man does not get food at home, he will go somewhere else. There are lots of other reasons, but you can read books and books about it.

     

    Ferdie

     

    #1837

    Angel
    Participant

    I get what all of you are saying, but………

    If one enjoys talking to someone of the opposite gender, and do flirt on the odd occasion is that cheating?

    #1839

    wbean
    Participant

    The question is whether you feel guilty, or are you keeping this ‘friendship’ from your partner for some reason.  If you feel guilty, then you’ve already answered your own question.

    In a case like this, I always say “what would I do if the roles were reversed?” and that pretty much answers your question.  If in doubt – don’t!

     

     

    #1840

    Amasi
    Participant

    What is cheating?

    It is doing what you would not do in front of your other half. If you dont want your other half to know that you are doing it the you are cheating.

    Should your spouse know you are spending time with A you will be in trouble, then that is cheating. That is why I dont think JZ is cheating as all the wives know that wherever he is, “he is sampling the stock” and can disclose the name of that person without any drama. Maybe they even know her.

     

    Why cheat? All they say about forbbident fruit.

    #1842

    Jo
    Participant

    Cheating can be emotional or physical.

    Why do we cheat? I guess that would be personal to who ever wants to or does do it.

    Loneliness

    Little or no sex

    Change/excitement/thrill

    Selfishness

    I guess if any one wants to cheat they will find a reason for it. I dont understand it though, a person is clearly not happy if they want to cheat. Leave the relationship and do what you want instead of hurting your other half.

    #1844

    Arise
    Participant

    people cheat in a relationship when they are not satisfied with each other. lack of trust , jealousy and low self esteem in a relationship leads to cheating. you find that you are honest with your partner and he\she would accuse you of things you dont do(e.g. having outside affair), and at the end you feel that what is the use, let me do it. partners push other partners to cheat. open communication in a relationship is a cornerstone of a successful relationship.

    #1845

    shadefrostreaper
    Participant

    Why do people cheat,

    Because like one of the comment guys said “forbidden fruit”

    1. People always want something they can’t have, it is our human nature.

    2. There is and will always be something better or someone better (in your own mind)

    Let’s say your driving a city golf but you can get a brand new Porsche instead what would you get?

    This is truly just all about human nature and mindset, but I believe that if everyone has a choice and if they choose to cheat they must face the consequences of their actions if there are any.

    Sometimes it’s for the better, everything bad always happens to make way for something good, that’s what my dad always say!

    So stand up straight smile big and move on, the world is a big place.

     

     

    #1846

    This Girl
    Participant

    I think, some Men an Woman arent happy with what they have… They think what they are doiong is fine… in the mean time its not…

    Looking at another guy or woman when you are with your partner shows a great amount of Disrespect… Why do you still need to look if you are with someone? Why should you put yourself in a situation where you are going to hurt someones feelings by cheating on them…

    Why not just leave your partner and then do what you want??? you dont need to cheat…

    If you want better, leave your partner and find what you looking for… Dont wast someones time and feelings on you that want to cheat…

    Being Insecure, have trust issues, low self esteem is things you yourself can work on…

    Your partner should stand behind you and help you sort your issues out…

    People dont like to be heart broken…

    And 1 of the main reasons why people cheat is be cauld they think that they ARE GODS GIFT TO EARTH!!!!!!!

    Arrogant, selfish and big headed people…   thats why…

    #2470

    Keyboardcaper
    Participant

    I love my wife. I ask her for sex on a daily basis. Virtually every time, the reply is too early, too late, too tired, too stressed or simply no.  This happens more than 99% of the time.  So, what do I do?  Well, I note the date and time as well as her excuse in a little black book.  Now I’m in a purely physical affair.  If my wife finds out and has a fit, she can have the little black book and see how much I really want her.

    I cheat because honestly, I’m tired of excuses.

    #2474

    Amasi
    Participant

    Keyboardcaper

    I have an idea from your little black book.

    How about opening a blog/website  indicating how did you get (denied) it yesterday? Yeb, it can have time excuse and length of excuse.

    Here are the pros:

    1. Self paid by advertisers.

    2. Everyone will get to know how stingy theirs is (benchmarking)

    3. Will be basis to fool each other into cheating when you realise you are getting a raw end of a stick.

    4. Women (oh they always try and peep in men’s issues) will get a chance to know how horrible is this out there (maybe learn new excuses).

    5. Ah, some may even arrange for a casual fling

     

    Okay my hallucinations are getting stronger now, anyway you have read this far so I will drink again a glass of Amasi for better voices.

    #2484

    success
    Participant

    I’m married and have not had sex with my wife for over a year now. I’ve stopped trying, get to bed, go to sleep. I used to travel a lot and one night to let off some steam I tried a prostitute, it was just sex. I love my wife and give her all the support and everything else she needs, even set up her business, motivate her and help financially. All I need is maybe a hand job once in a while, but even that is too much effort. Now I have a few young ladies, these are not prostitutes, one is an employee and her friends, the other, an ex employee. I use them only for sex and they know and are OK with it. Please tell me is that still cheating.

    #2485

    Keyboardcaper
    Participant

    In my case I’d say it is still cheating. Yes I love my wife and do support her with everything I can and yes, she is still full of excuses after all I do for her, but sleeping with another woman still makes me feel guilty because I actually want her to be my wife.  I lust for my wife daily but what am I to do?  Talking to her about is numerous times has not helped.

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