June 5, 2013 at 2:37 pm #2820
My partner feels that his two kids must move in with us because suddenly he does not trust his mother with his kids, this women has been the one who was taking care of these kids since they were in their nappies, because him and his ex were not able to do it, I personally do not agree with this, I have no issues with him sending money and all the necessities to his mom for his kids, but them to move in my house, I cannot handle it. What do you guys think?June 5, 2013 at 4:07 pm #2821
Your house? Or your and your HUSBAND’s house?
As a single mom, who would like the man I eventually live happily ever after with to accept my children as I accept his, I find you extremely selfish.
You cannot ask him to choose between you and his kids. If it were my decision, my kids would win hands down, and I would dump you like a hot cake.
If you cannot handle it, by all means, you know where the door is.June 10, 2013 at 11:03 am #2840
I totally agree with Jules. You knew he had kids, did you expect them to remain a seperate part of your life forever? If you wants the kids to be nothing more than a monetary obligation then maybe date a man who doesn”t have kids.June 10, 2013 at 11:25 am #2841
I think you are very selfish lady.If it was you with kids,would you have expected the same from your boyfriend?June 10, 2013 at 3:00 pm #2843
You have no issues with him sending money to his mom to help with kids, but that is it? WOW, never thought i would hear words like that from a woman. Have you maybe thought that it is cause his mom is starting to get older and it may be becoming difficult for her? If he is now able to look after his kids, then he should and it is his responsiblity after all, not his mothers.June 11, 2013 at 3:20 pm #2854
Do you expect his mother who has already raised her children to raise his children as well. She is in the twilight years of her life where she should be relaxing not looking after kids
You knew he had baggage and yet you continued with the relationship. You have no one but yourself to blame and I find you very selfishJune 13, 2013 at 2:38 pm #2861
unfortnately it is my house.June 13, 2013 at 6:56 pm #2862
Then you must ask him to find himself somewhere else to stay as you do not see your way clear to accepting his kids.
Having had the experience of a man not accepting my child, I am sorry, but I have zero sympathy for you. With respect, but, I think this man is better off finding himself a loving, caring, warm hearted person who will not worry whose house it is, but will be more concerned with building a life for the grater good of everyone concerned. I hope he has the courage to go out there and find himself that person. It is clearly not you.December 7, 2013 at 1:11 am #4537
First, I realise this is an old topic, but I feel I need to leave my thoughs here for others who find themselves in a similar situation.
Next, I’m sorry you had to endure the horrible deconstructive critisisms from all the closed-minded, intolerant, holier than thou, jerks.
Now, unfortunately, you are with a man who has children, and as a result, you will always be second to them in his eyes. It sucks, I know. I’m in the same situation.
But you are with him because of him. Not because of his job, or money, or because he has children. That all has nothing to do with it.
A child’s safety always come before an adult’s comfort no matter what.
However, you do not need to love or like the offspring of his ex-partner, just like you don’t need to love your parents in-law. However, you do need to tolerate them.
I made it clear from the start to my husband that I am not his children’s stepmother. I am his wife, and that is all. I support him, and he cares for them. As far as I’m concerned, they are just another family member that live with us, and I don’t have to do a thing. This works well for everyone. No drama, no pain, no problems.
I don’t hate children, I just dont like them. His children are no exception, and if some people don’t like that, then that’s their problem.
I hope this has helps
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