Social media, blogs & dirty laundry

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  namthi 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #2348

    Dirty Harry
    Participant

    I’m starting to develop a tremendous aversion to people who use(overuse) social media and personal blogs. Many people who use these services don’t seem to know the boundries of privacy. Ok, so the person likes to describe on a very detailed level what goes on in their lives, what they eat, where they go, what they do, what they like, what they dislike etc. The problem comes in when they describe their relationships in detail and also when they describe their thoughts on their partners, friends, family etc. There was a time when people would gossip and spread rumours but it is different today. People have the ability to expose themselves, their views on others and also the most private details of their partners in public to the entire world.

    Should one date a partner who likes to tell all, it might be endearing at first to share their oppenness and willingness to tell all but it becomes problematic when that person tells all about you. There are many things in relationship that are accepted and not spoken about publicly, we all have our issues…but it is extremely problematic that social media enables people to say whatever they want, about whomever they want publically without any consideration of the truth, feelings of the other person or circumstance underwhich the event took place.

    The question is this: would you become involved with a person who tells all is a personal blog or social media….I have learned the hard way that when people have the oppertunity to shoot their mouts off, they do. It is hard for people to keep secrets when they are angry with another and it is so much harder when their favourite pastime is publishing their every thought for the entire world to read.

    #2349

    Jules
    Participant

    I personally don’t have a problem with social media, and yes, I do vent a bit myself when I need to.  However I would never be rude or derogatory towards another, because that speaks about my character and my values, and I would like to be seen as the warm, loving, caring person that I am.  I care more what people think of me than I do about what they will think about the person I am having a rant about, if that makes any sense. 

    I certainly would not date anyone who tried to control who I am friends with, who I chat to, what I say there or wants me to go off FB alltogether.  That shows extreme insecurity, and a person like that is going to make my life miserable down the line, and also, in my experience, an insecure, jealous person brings out all the insecurities and jealousies within me as well,  and I have worked too hard on my self esteem to go through that again. 

    Would I date someone that tells all?  Well, it’s nice when they are saying nice things, isn’t it?   It works both ways.  Why don’t we mind when they are being nice, yet if they say nasty things we tend to take offence?  Is it because the truth hurts?   But yes, I think it would upset me if he was doing the dirty laundry in public, and I would politely ask him not to.  If it persists, then indeed, I would needto take action.

    #2351

    Amasi
    Participant

    Not everything is for public consumption.

    Correct her that she should stop it.

    #2357

    Dirty Harry
    Participant

    I think that the overuse of social media tends to erode “human dignity”. I don’t like people who tell all. There are so many thoughts and events that pass through our daily lives that should simply remain unsaid. Imagine if a man had to post every time he saw a pretty girl, or a wife every time she saw a handsome guy. Some people blurt things out either to boast or simply to hurt other people. Imagine if you were in a relationship with such a person and you had a fight and they tell all, now I am not saying that everything we do should be secret, but what I am saying is that people who are closest to you are able to hurt you very very badly by blurting out things that need not be public. Lets say a girl got raped when she was 14 and she is now 32. She has spent a lifetime getting over the trauma and is now opening up to guy. She never told anybody about the event but she trusts this guy. They have fight and he tells all on FB in a fit of rage. Now what…Some people seem to think that it is cool to tell all, to spill all the beans, but I’m becoming more and more weary of such people. How do you trust a person with your deepest darkest secrets if they proudly bare all for the entire public to see.

    #2358

    Jules
    Participant

    Well, that would be just lame,  but imagine social media don’t exist for a minute.  A person that would do such a thing would also go around blurting to all his friends, colleagues at work and so forth.  It’s not because social media exist that he did what he did.  He would have done it anyway.  Sure, because of the media he has a greater audience, but he would have done the damage anyway because that is the kind of person he is and has little respect for the feelings of others. 

    One also has to wonder about people who post every event that happens in their lives.  They cannot have much of a life to be spending so much time on line, day in, day out.  And then I wonder about people who are on more than one social network.  Seriously, where do they find the time?  That must be all they ever do.

    #2359

    Dirty Harry
    Participant

    There are plenty of lame people out there. There have been numerous teenage suicides due to cyber bullying where kids taunt one another.

    Yes they could have spread rumours before social media but the were not able to spread the rumour to 10 billion people with the click of a mouse.

    #2368

    Penguine
    Participant

    I have some friends who seem to like nothing more than telling what they are doing all day long. Going to the mall with….. having my nails done at …… Ok its nice for her to keep us up on what she is doing, why she is in another country at the moment, a totally different culture way of life etc. But come on enough already, yes when she posted that her and her hubby were going for a picnic in the desert, yea that sounded cool. But obviously it didn’t rate enough for her to expand after the fact. Then why tell us? And I don’t have anything against religion but when people post everything they do and what happens to them and their families and ends each post off with Amen and Amen. Eish I wanna take my bible and ram it down their throat. This same person sears like a trooper and goes off the deep end at the drop of a hat, and yet calls themselves a christian. But that is a totally different kettle of fish.

     

    Social media or not if its in the persons nature to gossip they don’t need the social media available they will do it anyway via whatever means they feel most comfortable.

     

     

    #2370

    Dirty Harry
    Participant

    @Penguine your last paragraph made me realize something. Those people like to gossip and social media gives them the perfect means to gossip about themselves.  I think that these people say things to cause discussions about themselves and their views. Imagine a person having their friends/followers discuss their issues. Talk about a perfect agony aunt column, not only are you the one with the problem, you are also the one with the solution and you get to partake in the discussion.

    Some people think that popularity is measured by number of Twitter followers or Facebook friends/likes. 

    The religious thing also annoys me. It is as if they think that God wants them to spread their word on Social media to everybody that they know (all the time). I’ve turned off timeline feeds of two people because the bulk of their messages are religious spam. I don’t mind them being religious and I am happy for them but I don’t want to hear about it over and over and over again. Imagine if I sent them messages all the time to buy MacDonalds, would they be happy? One man’s marketing is another’s pain in the ear!

    #2375

    namthi
    Participant

    @Penguine and Dirty Harry you guys you have issues, if its too hot for you just get out of the kitchen.  i  do get  your initial post Dirty Harry it makes a lot sense but now your comments are confusing to me, you seem to have a  problem with pipo:s  expressions. Socila media allow pipo to say whatever they want its their space as long its not offensive and degrading on others so if you cant handle their blessings and frustrations  unfollow or block simple. as for religion as long thier are religious they will continue posting about religion you cant stop them. and Penguine dont judge we all have weaknesses  and only GOD can help overcome them

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