February 20, 2013 at 9:43 am #1960
I hope you are all well.
It’s my first post here but hopefully will be a regular poster.
My fiancé wants to have a baby, as in today. I am a few years younger than him and not quite ready, but it’s mostly because I feel we won’t be prepared enough.
My question is, how did you prepare?
None of us earn fantastic salaries, but we will get by if we plan properly. From what I understand, most of the expenses come from consumables (nappies and such)- is that right? How many nappies does a baby go through?
Did you buy lots of stuff in advance? Not just baby shampoo and such, but clothes as well (like up to two years old at least)?
How much does it REALLY cost per month (say if you buy everything on a monthly basis vs. buying in advance)?
I know some things it’s not advisable to buy in advance (formula and maybe nappies) but what can definitely be bought? Vitamins?
Is it better to buy a blender and make my own food? Cheaper and healthier?
We don’t have medical aid but are both very healthy (but have emergency medical cover plans with ER24 and have life insurance), are there any plans where JUST baby can be covered?
With regards to education, we will take an education plan out (I see Old Mutual has one that starts from R150 which we can afford).
Sorry for the millions on questions, I really want to get my ducks in a row before I stop taking my pill and we start trying. My fiancé would rather us spend the money to have a baby than spend the money to have a wedding.
Thank you!February 20, 2013 at 3:13 pm #1963
Yoh, that is a lot of questions. Babies are very expensive, but if we had to wait until we had enough money we wouldn’t have had children (I have two, one almost 5 and the other 20 months). In the beginning we had a lot of big expenses (cot, pram, stoller, car seat, bath etc). But those are once offs, and for second kid we re-used everything. I breastfed both, so formula wasn’t an expense until later. Nappies – they go through a LOT of nappies. The baby is now using the pant nappies, and I bought a pack that was R170 over the weekend, and it will last me a bit over a week. Also use a LOT of wipes. Buying the new re-usable nappies are better, but I’m too scared of the washing.
Medical Aid – we never went to the dr, but with kids it’s a whole different situation. Beginning of the year our medical aid savings are gone. Our first child also had a medical problem, so she had to see a specialist (very expensive) every 2 weeks for almost 6 months. When you are pregnant there are also a lot of medical expenses. And buying them meds and vitamins.
Our biggest expense is creche for both of them. It would help if you can get a nanny or a family member to take care of the baby. It also depends a lot on the area where you stay for creche prices. The area where we use to stay it was over R2000 a month per kid, but we moved to another area and it is R1500 per kid. Then the older one also has an extra mural activity that is a few hundred per month.
Food – with the first child I cooked the food myself but with the 2nd I sometimes cooked, other times bought Purities. Food is the least of our financial problems, because both mine eat very little. It is an extra expense, but not a lot.
We looked at an education plan, but ended up opening a Capitec savings account for them, because the interest rate was so much better.
Our other expense is cute things in the shops that I just can’t resist, but that is entirely my fault.
Another question that you must consider, apart from the finances…are you ready for the commitment of a child. It changes your life completely. Proper sleep would just be a distant memory, and your social life is going to change completely.February 21, 2013 at 10:19 am #1964
Don’t have a baby until you are ready.February 21, 2013 at 10:50 am #1965
I have 2 children and I am married. I would not advise you to have a baby before marriage. What if your fiance decide later on he wants out of the relationship? It will help to have the commitment of marriage before deciding to have a baby. Should he decide to leave than you will be left alone to take care of the baby. I don’t know if I would have coped by my self without my husband supporting me. If a wedding is so expensive for him, why doesn’t he just get married in court or have a very small wedding. Being married gives you more security. You will definitely need a medical aid in order to cover all the medical expenses you will incur with the pregnancy and raising a child unless you are willing to go the government route which I wouldn’t recommend. I think you should rethink before making such a big decision to have a baby without weighing up all your expenses before hand as well as knowing it will change your life forever.February 21, 2013 at 9:08 pm #1968
I wouldn’t be worried about clothes for a 2-year-old if you’re not pregnant yet. But in reality you are right to be aware that babies and children are expensive. More important than any of that is that you personally don’t feel ready. Don’t be persuaded to do such an important thing if it’s not the right time for you.February 22, 2013 at 11:12 am #1977
Welcome to this form.
I was in the same situation as you. I was not really ready for a baby, and my boyfriend at the time say he want to have a baby, I stop the pill and in a year i got pregnant. It was the most exciting time of my life, and when i hold my little girl in my arms, it was priceless.
And i did not have a medical aid, i went the goverment way, and it was not bad at all, unless you can afford a medical aid, which most of them want you to be with them in a year before they will accept you, and cover you when you are pregnant,
And regards to the wedding, i also dream of having my bid white wedding, but i could not have it, but i am fine with that. We are planning to get married in court and have a small catering at our house to celebrate. I cant wait for that.
Good luck in all the decisions you make and KUP
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