A close guy friend and I have embarked on a friends with benefits situation. It’s been about six months now and I have started to develop real feelings for him. Should I tell him how I feel about him or would that just ruin the ‘situation’ we have? I really don’t know what to do.
Wow Gina why do women always do this they say they can handle a no strings relationship then it turns out like this. Has he given you any indication that he wants more from it. Men are simple women complicate things. Get out of the kitchen if you can’t handle the fire.
I have to agree with Leo… They cant handle the pressure of a no strings relationship. Either way you look at it the women end up falling for the dude.
WOMEN! They are a complicated bunch.
Gina my dear you sound really distraught. I understand how you must feel.
I think I am a bit older than you, and I really want to advise you to give it up with this guy immediately. I have been in this situation and it went just about as badly as you can imagine, he ended up falling in love and marrying someone else in a three month romance. Meanwhile I had to pretend that it was all wonderful and I was SO happy for them. She’s a nice person and I can’t blame her for a situation I got myself into. Rather be alone than be someone’s convenience.
Thank you all for your advice. Leo we have been going out on dates we’re in contact all day I really think that it’s more than just sex, or am I reading too much into it. He even invited me to a family function we agreed that he would introduce me as just a friend so I’ll be going. I’m just so confused so I just be straight up and ask him what this is? Or will this just push him away? I am so confused.
Its probably best to be honest with yourself. Frankly, i dont see anything wrong in what the guy is doing. FWB means exactly that…taking advantage of all benefits as agreed and remaining just friends.
You are getting too close and too attached and that could mean one thing…disaster. Maybe he also does feel some emotional attachment to you but it will never be same as a couple. However, id say take the plunge bearing the risk in mind…and tell him!
Hi Aqua, thanks so much for your advice, I’m afraid you are right, disaster is looming. I went with to the family function and it was horrible, I didn’t know that his ex gf was a close family friend and she was there too. It was so uncomfortable and he practically snubbed me the whole afternoon, needless to say I felt like a fool. I left on my own. I haven’t heard from him since then. I think the time has come for me to remove the rose-coloured glasses.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by
Gina.
Hi Gina,
I always say that if the guy wants a FWB status, then you will never truly be his. It means that he was JUST NEVER THAT INTO YOU.
Save yourself and find someone who wants you for who you are – and not just what you can give him physically.
Hi Sandy – I agree with you. But we all know that attraction of having someone to hold can be very powerful – even when the person is not good for us.
hey Gina, chin up. Once bitten, twice shy – you will be the wiser for this lesson. Just put it in your dairy, turn the page. I wish you luck and all the best for the future. But remember – always be safe! …and there is nothing wrong with a little bit of complication, brings some grrrrr out:)
There will be someone out there who appreciates you. Draw the line – if he runs, it means it was never going to work out.
Ouch Gina…at least you know now. He is obviously in touch with his ex and who knows who else! I am sure it pains especially not hearing anything from him till today, be strong gal. You will get over him sooner than you think!
Thank you all for your advice, I spoke to him last night and we’ve decided to take a break from each other. It’s going to be very hard, but I think it’s the best thing to do.
@Leo & @justmilo: Why are you being so sexist? I don’t agree that it’s always the women who fall in love. It differs from person to person. I am a lady and have tried setting up FWB friendships – in my experience it was always the guy who fell in love and wanted more out of the relationship. Even though we were straight up about our expectations from the start.
Gina, my advice would be to be honest always. Having had experience on the “other side” I would have preferred the guy to tell me how he feels, and then we can work out a plan of action (even if it is to split up). But what is really gruelling is realizing the guy was in love, but denying it. In my experience that just turns out nasty in the end. Good luck!
